I get by with a little help from my friends

Every time I hear this song I can't help but thing of the TV show The Wonder Years.  Anyone else?  These words have become more true in my life as I go further on this path of motherhood.  

A few days after Henry was born I was meeting with a lactation consultant to get some help with latching. During our appointment, she encouraged me to attend the next Mom's Group that the hospital sponsors.  I wasn't too sure about it. I've never been very good at making friends with girls and I'd heard horror stories of the super judgmental moms groups of today. She assured me the moms in this group would welcome me and Henry with open arms. The speaker that week was an estate planner, something Ben and I had on our to-do list since we had gotten married over two years before. I still wasn't sure if I'd fit in or feel comfortable at the moms group, but I decided to go anyway to learn more about estate planning.

It was one of the best decisions I have made as a new mom. Not only did I learn about estate planning and family law, I met a wonderful group of new moms who are now some of my closest friends. I planned my weeks while on maternity leave around Mom's Group meetings. I learned so many things I didn't know I needed to know to better understand Henry and help him thrive. From physical development, to how to pick a daycare, to mom and baby yoga. But the best thing I learned from moms group is that you need other mom friends.

Having friends that are in the same stage of life as you are comes in handy while you’re trying to figure out motherhood and parenting.  It truly does take a village to raise a baby.   Being able to lean on your friends helps so much when you're a new momma.  They understand where you're coming from.  They are also learning as they go with parenting and functioning on little sleep.   Mom friends cheer each other on at each milestone and lend a shoulder to lean on during times of struggle.

I think having a group of momma friends is so important that its one of the first pieces of advice I offer to my friends who are expecting.  Find a moms group.  Get to know other moms who have babies close in age to your baby.  I have invited practically every new mom I come across to moms group.  Coworkers.  Wives of coworkers.  My husband's coworkers.  Friends.  Neighbors.  Pregnant mommas at Target.  Moms who were in my birth class and I haven't seen since before Henry was born but happened to run into over the weekend.  True story.

If you don't already have a wonderful Mom's Group, go find one!  Ask your doctor, lactation consultant, doula, pediatrician, or hospital if they are aware of any local Mom's Groups.  Search online for Mom's Groups that meet up in your area.  Some local yoga studios and business host Mom's Groups where I live.  (Be sure to use the internet smartly and safely.  Only meet in a public place and somewhere that looks legitimate.  I wouldn't search Craig's List for Mom's Groups.)  If there isn't already a Mom's Group in your area, create one.

Get out there momma, build your village.  Make some momma friends.  It will be one of the best decisions you've ever made as a new parent.

It's Only One Day

Yesterday I had to drop Henry off at my in-law's early and work late.  My job is cyclical, so I knew the longer hours were coming, but I couldn't shake the guilt on my drive home of being away from Henry for a few hours longer than normal.  Ben fed him a bottle when he got home, instead of me nursing him as usual.  I don't know why, but the fact that I couldn't feed him his usual evening meal really got to me.  Then all of a sudden, I realized it's only one day.

I don't usually have long hours at the office.  I'm fortunate that my office is close to my home so I rarely have delays in my commute.  Having an extra bottle isn't going to ruin the rest of Henry's night.  When I walked through the door he was the same happy, smiling, talkative baby that he is every night.

I might have to work a little longer than usual in the coming weeks, and I am going to take it one day at a time.  The time I am at the office won't be detrimental to Henry.  It will allow him and Ben some more one-on-one bonding time.  I will feel more productive and accomplished at the end of the day for finishing work projects.  I will still get to spend time with my little dude before bedtime.

Being a mom is tough.  We put so much pressure on ourselves and the guilt can feel overwhelming at times.  When we have days that are a little different from the normal routine, we have to remember that it's only one day.

Plus, look at the awesome view I have from my office building.  

The view from my cubicle (if I walk away from my computer about 15 feet)

Mom's Night Out

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that a bunch of moms from my Mom's Group got together on Friday night for a Mom's Night Out. We met for happy hour/dinner and then went to one of those painting and cocktails studios. It was so much fun! We all had a blast and can't wait for the next one.  This was the first Mom's Night Out we had planned and we learned a few things that will be helpful for the next time.

The more the merrier. There were 15 of us who met for happy hour and 12 of us went to the painting studio after.   Because there were so many moms who wanted to join us for the night out, everyone wasn't able to go to the painting class because it was sold out.  One of the moms came up with a great idea of having happy hour/dinner at a restaurant near the painting studio.   Everyone met at the restaurant about an hour before the painting event.  Those of us who were painting had a drink and a quick bite to each.  Those who weren't painting stayed at the restaurant longer and had a nice dinner with girlfriends.  It was a great option that allowed anyone who wanted a girls night out to join.  Both groups had some quality girl time and an evening sans baby.   Invite as many moms as you can. I was really surprised with the turnout and I am so glad so many of us were able to make it out for a night without our little ones.

Try something new.  Some of us had gone to a painting and cocktails class before and others hadn’t.  All of us had a great time, even if our paintings didn't turn out exactly like the example. We made sure to all sit together, which made the night so much fun.  Between instructions from the artist, we would all turn  and chat with each other.  We laughed so hard that some of us cried.  It was really fun to bond over trying something together and we each have a beautiful painting to remind us of a fun night out (beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?).  Mine is going to be hung in my laundry room for two reasons. One, because my laundry room is painted blue, which matches the theme of the painting; and two, only my husband and I go in the laundry room so everyone who comes over won't see how bad I am at painting.

Saturday night is probably better than Friday night.   We had a good mix of working moms and stay-at-home moms join us for a night out.  Although the class didn’t start until 6:30, I think most of us felt rushed trying to get to the class on time.   Those of us who work wouldn't have felt like we were rushing from the office to get home so that we could see our babies for a few minutes before heading out with the girls.  Those of us who didn't have to work that day were waiting for dad to get home from work so that we could leave on time.  Saturday would have been a better option because it would have given everyone a chance to wind down from the work week on Friday evening.

Mom's Night Out was a great success and really fun!  This group of moms usually gets together with our babies for playdates or walks.  It was a blast spending time with just the girls.  It is easy to get caught up in the craziness of taking care of our babies and forget about taking some time for ourselves.  Don't forget to take care of you.  

Our masterpieces!