This is me. Honestly.

This post has been sitting as a draft collecting dust for months.  It didn't feel perfect, and I've always been a perfectionist.  This morning I was scrolling through my instagram and saw this post. "Perfectionism is one of the best forms of procrastination."  I decided right then and there that I was going to dive in and officially start my blog.  Honestly, the post below isn't perfect.  But If I wait until it is, I might never post it.  

Photo: dave and lindsey photo

This is me eight weeks after Henry was born.  He had been fighting a nasty cold and we had both been up all night.  We had spent hours upon hours sitting in the bathroom with the shower running trying to create enough steam to clear out my sweet little boy's stuffy nose.

We had plans to go hang out with my bestie Lindsey and her son who is about nine months older than Henry.  Henry and I were both exhausted and I didn't know if either of us were up for the trip across town.  I knew I had to go see another momma for my sanity and some socialization.  I quickly got both of us dressed, threw my hair back and jumped in the car.  

I couldn't remember the last time I had showered (was it last night?  or the night before that?).  The days were blurring together as had been running on a few hours sleep and Starbucks for the past couple of weeks.  Oh, the life of a new momma.

It was so great to see Lindsey and her little boy.  We had played dolls together as little girls.  It was a little surreal to be hanging out with our own, real babies as adults.  

Lindsey and her husband are photographers and I have turned to them for our family's pictures many times over the years.  After settling in with our babies, Lindsey mentioned that she had all of her photography gear set up to take some pictures of Henry and me. I love her work and I was very happy that she had offered.

At first when I got the pictures back I didn't like the ones of the two of us.  Henry was as cute as ever, even though he wasn't feeling well.  But I didn't like the way I looked.  My hair wasn't done in the signature curls I had worn for so long before Henry was born.  I didn't have time to put on makeup that morning and the bags under my eyes are so apparent.  Looking at the pictures a few days later, I realized how much I truly love them.  

Being a new momma is hard work.  It's sleepless nights and long days that somehow fly by so quickly.  It's worrying about someone besides yourself first, and foregoing things like showering and taking time to get ready.  It's knowing that your little one needs you to care for him and show him love.  It's realizing that you don't even care about the little things that used to be so important to you before mommahood.  It's that surge of love and joy through your body the first time your baby smiles at you. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.