Tips for Storing Kids Clothes

The other day I was helping Henry get dressed and I was having trouble get his shorts over his cute little bum.  I checked the size and they were 24 Months!  He will be three in October and has definitely outgrown his size 24 months clothes.  I'm pretty sure I bought him some size 3T jeans in April.  It was time to go through the dresser and closet to store the clothes that are too small so that Jack can wear them in the future. 

Fall Bucket List

Tomorrow is October, you guys, OCTOBER! This year has flown by so quickly! October is one of my favorite times of year because it finally feels like Fall. The leaves are changing, the air is crisp, and Pumpkin Spice is everywhere! I love pumpkin everything. I was at Costco this week and found Pumpkin Spice waffles.  I didn't need 48 of them, so I will keep an eye out for this seasonal flavor at the grocery store. Honestly, I would have eaten all 48 in one weekend.  Is it too much to have a pumpkin spice waffle with a pumpkin spice latte for breakfast while burning a spiced pumpkin candle?  Yes?  Ok, I'll wait to light the candle until after breakfast.

I am so excited to start some Fall traditions with Henry this year. He is at a really fun age where he is just absorbing everything.  It is really fun watching him observe his surroundings and take everything in wherever we are.  Since Henry is barely one, I know this year's Fall traditions will be more for Momma.  I'll just have to scrapbook all of it so he can "remember" the fun we had when he's older. 

There are so many things I would like to do this Fall with Henry, but I think taking baby steps is the way to go.  I've created a short bucket list of baby friendly activities to do this Fall.  

1. Pick a Pumpkin - I love going to the pumpkin patch each year.  We usually go to Fritzler's Farm in Northern Colorado, but we may stick closer to home this year.  The pumpkin patches near us have a lot of fun fall activities like hay rides and corn mazes, so maybe we can add some more Fall activities to our family traditions list!

2. Play in a pile of leaves - if I'm going to be raking the leaves in my yard, we might as well play in them, right? Hopefully he doesn't eat too many of them.

3. Go Trick-or-Treating  - we'll probably only go to our next door neighbor's and then set up camp in our house for the rest of the evening to hand out candy to the other neighborhood kids.  It will be fun to see him dressed up, because I'm sure he isn't going to quite get the concept. 

And offering him lots of pumpkin spice things so he will love it as much as his Momma does. 

Back to Work | Six Months In

It's hard to believe that I've been back to work for over six months now.   Some days it seems like just yesterday that I was dropping my little guy off at my in-law's and heading to the office for the first time since he was born.  Other days it feels like I have been a working mom forever.  I thought I would post another update about the things I have learned since being back to work. 

Pumping at work is hard work.  Trying to find an hour during my already packed day is becoming more difficult.  At my office there are only two pumping rooms and there are a lot of nursing mommas.  We have to reserve our times for the "quiet room" months in advance.  If you miss your time because a meeting ran late, you're pretty much out of luck.  Although I have a laptop that I take with me to the quiet room, gathering all of my things twice a day and getting set up usually ruins the momentum I had going with my work.  I find it difficult to work on a laptop on your lap while you're also hooked up to the pump, there just isn't enough room.  My goal is to be able to breastfeed for one year.  I've made it this far, I feel like I can buckle down and make it three more months.  I have realized that pumping at work is more of a marathon than the sprint I thought it was when I first returned to work.

My weekends are sacred.  I lived for the weekend before Henry was born, but I also feel like I had more freedom to do things after work instead of trying to cram all of my social gatherings, chores, and errands into two days.   We tend to spend most weeknights at home now.  Every once in a while we will  make a mid-week trip to the grocery store, but now that Henry is older and more mobile I want to be able to give him lots of playtime at our home before bedtime each night.  When I first returned to work I had a bad tendency of packing our weekends full of things to do.  When I would look at my calendar I was overwhelmed.  I only get four, maybe five, weekends a month to see friends and family, do chores, run errands, and have me time.  I've started winding down the amount of things we do on the weekends.  I really try to have only one event on the weekend so that we can have one full day to hang out just as a family, get things ready for the next week, or have some me time.  I've learned that allowing that time is necessary and more important for my family than getting together with extended family or friends.

My nights are wonderfully predictable.  Evenings at our house are much busier than before Henry was born.  Ben picks Henry up in the evenings.  I rush home from work to feed Henry while Ben makes dinner for us.  We eat dinner as a family, which is really entertaining now that Henry is eating solids.  I clean up Henry and the kitchen while Ben does another chore.  We play with Henry for a little bit and then its time for bed.  By the time Henry is sound asleep Ben and I only have energy to watch maybe one TV show before turning out the lights.  I'm asleep the second my head hits the pillow.  Compared to the easy going, lazy nights we had just a year ago it feels like we are running at full speed from the time we get home until the time we turn out the lights.  I can't believe that we used to come home from work and watch TV or sit outside in the backyard for hours.  I'll admit sometimes I even felt bored after work.   I love that I know what our evenings consist of.  Even if they are incredibly packed and crazy.

I still have bad days and good days with both of my jobs.  Some days I dread going into the office because I am having a great morning with Henry.  Other days I can't get to the office quickly enough because I am craving adult interaction.  I've learned to lean on my village more and have found comfort in knowing that Henry has a great network of people he loves who are helping to raise him.  I still miss him all day while I’m at the office, but I love seeing his smiling face when I walk through the door in the evening.

Carry-on for Momma

one | two (similar)| three | four | five | six (similar)

This time last week I was relaxing on the beach in Hawaii!  Oh how I wish to be back there.  I had technical difficulties while in Hawaii that prevented me from posting while on vacation.  I'll be posting this week all about vacation and some tips for travelling with a baby.  Yesterday I showed you what I packed in my carry-on for Henry. My hands are pretty full when traveling with him, so I like to pack all of our carry-on essentials in one backpack.

Henry loves to play with my everyday necklaces. The sparklier, the better. I thought it would be nice to wear one that I don't mind him pulling on and chewing on. I packed an extra t-shirt for me in my carry-on in case of an epic blow-out, soak through, or spit up. 

Flying makes me dehydrated so I like to bring my own water bottle with me. I drink a full bottle before going through security, fill it up at one of the water bottle fill up stations and drink another full bottle before boarding.  During the in-flight beverage service I ask for two cups of water without ice.  Sometimes the flight attendants will fill up my water bottle for me before we land.  So much water also means lots of trip to the ladies' room, so I tend to be somewhat of an expert on where they can be found.  

I use this wallet as my everyday wallet. I love that it has so many spots for cards, has two zippered pockets inside, and zips closed all the way around so nothing can fall out. It's easy to grab and throw in my diaper bag or work bag. As a travel wallet it is big enough to carry my tickets and I can toss it in my backpack instead of carrying a purse. 

We flew United to Hawaii, which offers a large selection of movies and TV shows to watch through their app during the flight. I love hat I can use my own iPad to catch up on movies I haven't seen and that I can pause the movie if I need to. I watch Inside Out and Aloha on our flights. Inside Out was great! I'd love to buy it for Henry when he is older. Aloha was predictive, yet confusing. Although, I'm not positive I didn't fall asleep during part of it. 

Airplanes tend to be a bit cold for me. I like to wear a fun scarf that I can use to wrap up in. A scarf doesn't take up much room in my backpack either if I don't end up needing to wear it. 

I also brought a bag of toiletries for the plane, including lip balm and lotion. Snacks are also a must. I tried to stick to healthier options at the store, but I couldn't resist the Brookside Farms chocolates. They're dark chocolate and fruit, which makes them healthy, right? 

Carry-on for Baby

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven 

We went to Hawaii last week to visit family and relax a bit. This was our second trip with Henry and it was great to spending some time with him on the beach playing in the sand.  When traveling I like to use a backpack as a diaper bag and carry-on since I can easily wear it on my back while I carry Henry in the Ergo 360 through the airport. I pack diaper changing essentials in a zippered pouch so I don't have to carry the whole backpack with me to the tiny airplane bathroom. I like to bring an Aden and Anis swaddle blanket because they are so versatile.  I can use it as a nursing cover, burp cloth or a blanket if the plane is chilly. Henry's favorite toys are with us too so we can keep him entertained. And, of course, we can't forget his monkey. 

Henry slept most of the flight to Hawaii and the entire time on the way back.  I guess there is a benefit to taking the red-eye.  We were lucky and ended up with an entire row to ourselves, which was awesome because we had more room to spread out.  Henry thought it was so cool to sit on the seat by himself for a little bit while we were at cruising altitude.  I read these tips in preparation for our trip, I found them really helpful, especially number 9. 

Back to Work | Three Months In

Monday marked three months of being back at work for me. Which means I have now been a working momma for longer than I was at home with Henry during maternity leave. These three months have gone by so quickly! It definitely hasn't been the easiest of transitions, and here are some of the things I have learned:

Going back to work is one of the hardest things I have done. The first couple of weeks back to work I was a wreck. I was very overwhelmed with my new schedule of getting Henry ready and to my in-laws in the mornings before getting to work.  I felt like I was always behind. I was having a hard time adjusting to everything I had to do. On top of that, the first week Henry really missed me. He wanted to make up for the time we weren't together during the day by cuddling all night long. Which was super sweet, but since we don't bed share I was spending most of my night awkwardly sleeping in the glider in his nursery while he slept soundly on my chest. Not a very comfortable way to get some rest after a long day of working and taking care of a baby. I cried every night when I got home from work. I felt like I was missing so much (even though I really wasn't). 

Big transitions like this can trigger feelings of postpartum depression. At my six-week postpartum appointment I took the questionnaire that is supposed to tell you and your care provider of you are at risk for developing PPD. I scored really low (which meant PPD was not even on the radar for me). I love being a momma and after Henry was born was one of the happiest times of my life. I definitely had some "Baby Blues" in the first couple of days home, but I never felt depressed. Going back to work brought all of the warning signs of PPD to the surface. In the weeks before I went back to work I became very bitter and refused help from those who loved me. I felt like I was the only one who could truly care for Henry. I cried all the time. I was very snippity and short with Ben. These feelings continued to grow in the first few weeks back at work. I was happy at work and loved seeing my co-workers and friends, but every night the negativity would set in and I couldn't bring myself  to see all of the positives in my life. I called my doctor to get help. She referred me to a counselor at the Postpartum Wellness Center of Boulder, who helped me learn to cope with the negative and overwhelming feelings I had been having. I saw my counselor every week for eight weeks. After each session I truly felt better. She validated the feelings I was having and taught me how to manage the stressors in my life. 

It does get better. After being back to work for about three weeks I started to feel a lot better. Each week is a little easier.  I figured out a schedule for the mornings. I make sure to do things at night to help "tomorrow's me" out. I don't cry every night after work. I play with Henry until bed time and enjoy the time we have together. Henry sleeps by himself again in his crib and I am getting more sleep. I am back into the swing of things at work and truly enjoying my job again. Some days are still really hard. Each week I can't wait for Friday to be over so I can spend two days with my family. On Sunday I do get a little sad about the week ahead and being away from Henry. I take it one day at a time and each night when I put Henry to bed I tell him the number of days left until weekend. On Friday mornings I burst into his room exclaiming, "We made it to Friday!"

Letting those who love you help you makes all the difference in the world. I am a very independent woman and always have been. It was (and still is) hard for me to ask for help. But I have gotten better at it. It doesn't necessarily take a village to raise a child, but leaning on your village does help. Ben and I share the responsibility of driving Henry to and from Grandma and Grandpa's each day. Ben cooks dinner at night so I can feed Henry and we can have a good chunk of time after dinner to hang out as a family. My in-laws drive Henry to my office at lunch so I can see him and nurse. My mom and dad pick up the phone every time I call. Without my village I would be so overwhelmed. I am so grateful for these people and everything they do. 

Whether you're heading back to work tomorrow, in a month, or in six months, just know that you can make it through this transition. It will be hard. You will be sad. But that's ok. Reach out to your village for help. Cry if you need to. It does get better. Plus, you have something to look forward to every night when you head home from work.  Baby giggles and snuggles are the best cure for a long day at the office.

Evenings now consist of stories about dinosaurs and pirates

This is me. Honestly.

This post has been sitting as a draft collecting dust for months.  It didn't feel perfect, and I've always been a perfectionist.  This morning I was scrolling through my instagram and saw this post. "Perfectionism is one of the best forms of procrastination."  I decided right then and there that I was going to dive in and officially start my blog.  Honestly, the post below isn't perfect.  But If I wait until it is, I might never post it.  

Photo: dave and lindsey photo

This is me eight weeks after Henry was born.  He had been fighting a nasty cold and we had both been up all night.  We had spent hours upon hours sitting in the bathroom with the shower running trying to create enough steam to clear out my sweet little boy's stuffy nose.

We had plans to go hang out with my bestie Lindsey and her son who is about nine months older than Henry.  Henry and I were both exhausted and I didn't know if either of us were up for the trip across town.  I knew I had to go see another momma for my sanity and some socialization.  I quickly got both of us dressed, threw my hair back and jumped in the car.  

I couldn't remember the last time I had showered (was it last night?  or the night before that?).  The days were blurring together as had been running on a few hours sleep and Starbucks for the past couple of weeks.  Oh, the life of a new momma.

It was so great to see Lindsey and her little boy.  We had played dolls together as little girls.  It was a little surreal to be hanging out with our own, real babies as adults.  

Lindsey and her husband are photographers and I have turned to them for our family's pictures many times over the years.  After settling in with our babies, Lindsey mentioned that she had all of her photography gear set up to take some pictures of Henry and me. I love her work and I was very happy that she had offered.

At first when I got the pictures back I didn't like the ones of the two of us.  Henry was as cute as ever, even though he wasn't feeling well.  But I didn't like the way I looked.  My hair wasn't done in the signature curls I had worn for so long before Henry was born.  I didn't have time to put on makeup that morning and the bags under my eyes are so apparent.  Looking at the pictures a few days later, I realized how much I truly love them.  

Being a new momma is hard work.  It's sleepless nights and long days that somehow fly by so quickly.  It's worrying about someone besides yourself first, and foregoing things like showering and taking time to get ready.  It's knowing that your little one needs you to care for him and show him love.  It's realizing that you don't even care about the little things that used to be so important to you before mommahood.  It's that surge of love and joy through your body the first time your baby smiles at you. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.